


My Soul Will Always be With You

by MyNemWynx



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Ash Lynx Goes to Japan, Ash Lynx Needs A Hug, Ash lynx death, Banana Fish Anime Spoilers, Banana Fish Ending, Banana Fish Ending Fix-It, Banana Fish Fluff, Banana Fish Fluff Week 2019, Banana Fish Manga Spoilers, Canon Related, Canon Rewrite, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Character Death In Dream, Cute Okumura Eiji, Death, Domestic Boyfriends, Domestic Fluff, Endearments, Gen, Hallucinations, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Letters, M/M, Metaphors, Minor Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, My First Work in This Fandom, Okumura Eiji Needs a Hug, Okumura Eiji's Letter, One Shot, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Banana Fish, Protective Ash Lynx, Sad, Sad Ending, Short One Shot, Symbolism, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, ash lynx sad, asheiji, banana fish anime - Freeform, banana fish manga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28101090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyNemWynx/pseuds/MyNemWynx
Summary: WARNING: BANANA FISH ENDING SPOILERS (MANGA AND ANIME)A glimpse into the what Ash's future could be. A possibility of what Eiji could be to him. A branch of reality that Ash can never have, but one he experiences, and one he'll not forget. (Mixing both anime and manga, where it's set in the time period of the manga but with like anime events)I don't really wanna say too much coz I might spoil thangs, but my cousin cried reading this so I'm guessing it's somewhat p good LMAO
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	My Soul Will Always be With You

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: this might not be the ending we wanted, but it's the ending he got. So I rolled with it and imagined what Ash thought. Plus it's my first fic for this fandom so like PLZ GO EASY ON ME ÓwÒ

_ Ash... _

_ I'm worried to death... _

_ Bigger and stronger... _

_ Ash... _

_ We're friends... isn't that what counts? _

_ I met you... _

_ I never feared you... _

_ Fate... _

_ Destiny... _

_ Ash... _

_ You're not alone... _

_ My soul is always w- _

"Ash..." 

He felt the heat of the morning embers caress his eyelids, encouraging them to gaze upon it's beauty. As he did, he watches as the light flows through the window in front of him, making it's way to the dimly lit room. The rays hitting every single dust particle gliding in the air, as the golden hues consume the rims of pitch black hair. 

There, he sees him. A delicate being, comfortably sprawled out beside him. As he looks up, he finds that the morning beams were dull compared to the gelatinous eyes that seem to stare back at him. Deep chocolate brown, rich and pure. He fears that cherishing this sight, would result in his downfall. 

The figure shifts in their place. He realizes now that both of them were draped under the same cotton fabric. A hand lures itself to his neck, radiating warmth throughout his whole body. 

"Ash..." 

Eiji...

he is suddenly so hyperaware of his involvement with the space around him. 

Ash zeroes in on the being in front of him. The hand making its way to brush away the strands of hair covering his face. That's where he noticed the subtle hint of a knitted sleeve embracing the arm. He soon realizes the scuffles of a shirt collar brushing against his color bones. He smiles.

"How was your sleep?"Eiji asked, the corner of his eyes wrinkling.

"I slept good last night, actually. What a plot twist, am I right?" Ash replied jokingly, tugging at the comforter as he lets himself sink deeper into the cushions. 

Eiji lets out a lazy chuckle, rolling onto his back, " Oh, thank god! I'm worried to death because I haven't been able to see you doing well." 

He gently prompted himself to sit up, sleazily slipping on some slippers, before standing up beside the bed. He later turns around to face the bed, gazing upon Ash's lazy figure. 

"Come on, I'll make breakfast today." Eiji said, stretching out his hands towards Ash.

"But it's so early..." Ash groaned, reaching for Eiji's open arms. 

After a sleepy attempt at standing up, Eiji led Ash towards the hallway, hand in hand. Squinting, Ash found himself admiring the space around him. His bare feet walking across the wooden floorboards, he noticed the paper sliding doors. What was it called? Shoji? It looked exactly like the ones he saw in those old ninja movies. 

A framed piece of mirror was hanging on one of the walls. It slightly bothered him that it was rather blurry, but he decided to ignore it. As he drowsily navigates the hallway, with only Eiji's hand leading him the way, he is suddenly aware of the silence. It was quiet, except for the distinct wet splats that continuously dripped down from the sink. 

Eventually, they entered the kitchen. Ash sitting down at a quaint little dining table. Everything was painted with an old fashioned, teal color, from the cabinets, to the countertops, to the chairs, then the table. Ash found the way the seat hugs his body, as well as how the table provided support for his arms, to be comfortably familiar. 

Eiji walks beside him, presenting a plate of his infamous sandwiches, and a cup of coffee beside it. He shortly saunters towards the opposite side of the table, gazing up at him with calm anticipation. The sun paid no invitation, and simply engulfed Eiji's features with a florid orange blanket of light. Ash didn't even realize he was holding his breath until he finally let it go. The scene before him made his heart swell and throb. 

A pain racked against Ash's torso, he didn't think he'd actually yearn for these sandwiches. Without wasting another second, he took a bite out of the sandwich. 

Weird. 

It tasted different. It tasted worse than he remember. It was bitter, with a gritty texture, leaving a horrific taste in his mouth. Nonetheless, he accepted it, wolfing the rest down.

He pulls at the cup of coffee, luring it to his mouth. He noticed the disturbing quality of the coffee - dark, dull and viscous. He drank it anyway. It didn't taste like coffee, but it did taste familiar. There's a metallic aftertaste? 

"Wow, didn't think coffee would taste different in Japan." Ash remarked, moving the plate and mug to the kitchen sink. 

Drip. 

Ash flinched. The faucet is leaking. 

"You said we live in different worlds." Eiji replied, cockily. He shortly followed after Ash, nudging him aside to get more room to work. Turning on the faucet, he allowed the water to flow freely, as he scrubs at the dishes. 

Ash takes a mental note on the viscous water.

"We  are in different worlds, Eiji..." he frowns, studying the graceful movements of the Japanese boy, gliding the sponge in circular motions. 

"But is that true?" the blond boy stops to look at him, those chocolate eyes glistening, "We have different colored skin and eyes." 

The repetitive "angel eyes" compliment gets old. Ash couldn't recall how many times someone has told him that his eyes were beautiful.But these dark, pure, earth colored eyes... he thinks it deserves more praise than it received.He can't get enough of them.

Eiji briefly sets the dishes down, turning to brush his thumb below Ashe's eye. His hand was wet, making his whole cheek a bit sticky. Some lingered to his lips. It tasted... salty?

"We were born in different countries," Eiji continued, " but we're friends... isn't that what counts?" 

The asian boy retracts his hand with a satisfied grin. Quickly shaking his wrists to dry his hands, before heading out of the room.

Ash's eyes follow him, a sort of dread sinking in his insides. Panicking, he jogs after him. 

"Come on, let's open the shop." Eiji called out. 

Ash was suddenly blasted by the sweet aroma of aging paper. Towers and shelves of every genre of book imaginable, decorating every nook and cranny of the space. A modest little book shop. He felt his face heated up.

Eiji treaded toward the glass-paved door, displaying the sign to "open". The glass screens that framed the bookshop was strangely a blinding white. 

Not long after, the pitter patter of footsteps came flooding in the door. The little book shop suddenly felt so alive. 

"Must be a nice dream" one of the customer's said, as she gazes upon a sleeping baby in a carriage. The parents of which smiled in gratitude. If he didn't know better, he'd say the baby looked like him. 

"Excuse me-"

"Hey..."

"Sir?"

The customers chatted among themselves. Eiji stood back and gazes at the sight.

"I'm really glad I came to America... I met lots of people..." Eiji smiled, "but more than anything, I met you."

"So you actually didn't regret me, huh?" Ash nudged his shoulder, jokingly.

"You asked me over and over if you scared me," Eiji paused, tilting his head towards the bright windows of the shop, " But I never feared you... not once..."

Eiji's smile seemed to spread wider, and Ash could spot hints of pink surfacing his cheeks.

The blond boy chuckled, deflective, "if anyone heard you say that, they'd say you're insane." 

"Yeah... " Eiji giggled nervously, scratching the back of his head, "What's more important is you're hurt much more than me. I couldn't help feeling that way... funny, huh?"

Ash paused, internalizing what he said. Hurt much more than him? Hurt... he never thought about it that way. 

"It is a little bit, 'funny'..." he pondered. Hurt... he doesn't know what to make of it. 

"Come on, help me with the boxes." 

Eiji gestures him towards the counter, where Ash immediately finds a box filled to the brim with aged books. He bents down, attempting to carry it. Ash quickly jogs over, taking the big box from his hands. 

It was surprisingly... light. And... sticky?

"You're way smarter... bigger, and stronger than me..." Eiji looks up at him, as the box is tightly held between his arms, "But I always felt like I had to protect you."

Protect him? Ash snorts, dismissing it. 

"As you should, big brother. " Eiji frowns playfully, gently shoving Ash over. 

The younger boy laughed, as he continued to make his way back into the kitchen.

"I wondered what it is I wanted to protect you from." 

The Japanese boy gestured to a spot on the floor, to which Ash set the box down. The jolt of the impact sent the covers of the box to open, revealing a book laying neatly among the other ones in the pile.

Ash knelt down as he hesitantly reaches for it. It was also very sticky. The cover was unclear. But he could vaguely make out the shape of a snowy mountain. Only, the details were so difficult to identify. But it was obvious to him what book it was. 

The Snow of Kilimanjaro...

"I wanted to protect you from fate."

Ash froze. He slowly looks up from the book to gaze at the older boy. Eiji's stance was stable, as his confidence shone through. It perfectly contrasts the smooth curvature of his cheeks, as it lifts up to meet with the wrinkles of his eyes. Ash instantly felt the room grow warm. 

"The fate that tries to carry you away, drifting further and further," Eiji approached him, shortly kneeling down beside him to scan at the cover, "You told me once about a leopard you read in a book... How you believed that leopard knew that it couldn’t go back..."

Fingers caressing Ash's knuckles, Eiji looks up at him with the most welcoming eyes, "And I said you weren’t a leopard... that you could change your destiny." 

There was so much stability in that one sentence, that Ash felt so reliant on it. Eiji slowly stands up, Ash's hand in his. The blond boy followed after. 

In just one single moment, the world was frozen. The atmosphere engulfed the two into a tent of golden hues. Everything was in slow motion, the dust particles fluttering in the air as if it was snow. The roof suddenly started to leak, as droplets escaped the crevices and onto the wooden floor. 

And there... Eiji. 

_Here_... Eiji...

Eiji was _here_ , with him. Unharmed, breathing, and so far away from the world he's known. He carries a serenity he's known only from the first time he jumped that wall. 

He is here, occupying the space in front of him, being the strength that's currently curled around his very hand. 

Eiji pulls him in closer. His fingers abandoning Ash's hand, to wrap around his waist. Carefully, he guides him as they start to sway in the presence of the dusk. 

Step. Pause. 

Step. Pause.

Eiji rests his head onto Ash's chest. A wave of vibrations radiating from it as he hums. Ash could practically feel his poor heart gushing. 

Eiji continues to hum a familiar tune. Ash swore he heard this from the radio before, as he continues to ponder on what the lyrics might be. 

" hmmm mmm... you've broken my heart... and now you leave me..." Ash mumbles, using a deep register in his voice, going slightly off tune. It was almost like a soft whisper.

"Love of my life, can't you see..." 

Step. Pause.

Step. Pause.

"Bring it back...bring it back... " ash stumbles as he tries to recall what was next, "don't... take it away from me..."

Eiji continues to hum along with him.

"Because... you... " Ash exhales, " don't- know..."

Ash looks down at Eiji, his cheeks pressed against his heart. 

"What it means to me..." 

Ash could trace the tints of Eiji's cheeks as it balloons up. He attempts to stop himself from relishing at the sight of him. Irrational fears warning him that it's forbidden, sacred. Naturally, he fails. 

Taking in every single detail about the figure in front of him. The fluffiness of his dark hair. The way he attached himself to him. The way he sways with a little flutter to his step. The way his cheek squishes as he buries it deeper into his chest. The way his eyes seemed to catch the light at exactly the right time, catchlights framing his pupil enough that he wouldn't be distracted by it. And he could just focus on _him_. 

"How's the shop?" Ash submits to the somberness, as he lets himself melt into Eiji's embrace.

"Max and Ibe-san stopped by," Eiji recalls, "they just wanted to see how the place was running."

Ash hums back in response. Pride welling up in him at their achievement, "and Sing?"

"He's handling everything well... they all are..." he pauses, "Shorter and Skipper came by with a postcard from Griffin... They're all so excited to see you again... "

Step. Pause.

Step. Pause.

"How was your day?" Ash mumbled, picking at his fingers around Eiji's back. 

"I'm doing good... I'm doing really good."

The swaying ceased as Ash spots a white bird resting at the window sill. The bird tilts his head quizzically, then shortly pointing it's beak at the counter directly below him. 

Drip.

Drip.

The leaks in the roof start to flow freely.

"Sir?"

"Is he-"

"Hello?"

"Excuse me."

The chatter from the book shop start to grow louder.

Ash shifts his gaze to the countertop...

An envelope, A plane ticket, and two blood-stained pieces of paper... 

He darted his eyes towards the glass windows, then the mirror... 

_Blank_...

  
...

"...I never left the library, haven't I?" 

Eiji steps backwards. He sighs, a sad smile on his face. He shakes his head. 

"I ran to you... and I met Lao... and..." Ash digests carefully.

"... I went back inside..."

Eiji nods.

"I'm... not coming back, aren't I?" 

Eiji shakes his head, "this is it, Ash..."

He feels his shirt start to get stickier. The drippings from the roof, getting more viscous. The light blinding as it intensifies. A blossoming bitterness tainting his tastebuds, followed by a metallic aftertaste.

"Can you... stay by my side? Just for now?" He gazes up at Eiji, a wetness in his eyes.

"You're not alone..." Eiji steps forward, taking Ash's hand in his, "I'm by your side..."

The room begins to flood with the sticky liquid, as it clenches onto Ash's ankles. The chatter in the book shop starts to get clearer.

He focuses on his eyes. Those, deep, brown eyes. 

Eiji smiles.

"My soul will always be with you..."

He hears sirens, before the light finally devours him.

**Author's Note:**

> OK SO...
> 
> I ACTUALLY RESEARCHED ABOUT DEATH A LITTLE FOR THIS ONE. Idk if you actually noticed every little hint I made to show that he was dying. I CANT BELIEVE I PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO THIS LEIK WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF 
> 
> But here's some little hints:  
> \- taste  
> \- the last sense you lose as you die is your hearing  
> \- Eiji's dialogue
> 
> Idk if you noticed this as well, but I was a little inspired by "the View from Halfway Down" from Bojack Horseman. Also, the song in the fic is "Love of my Life" by Queen. 
> 
> So yea I hope you enjoyed/didnt enjoy rather, this fic. Thank you for reading!


End file.
